my finest science jokes

A neutron steps into a bar.

neutron: how much for a beer?

bartender: for you, no charge.


A photon steps into a hotel.

bellhop: do you have any luggage sir?

photon: nah, I’m traveling light.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


You can never trust atoms because they make up everything.


Chemists are great problem solvers because they always have solutions.


A dung beetle steps into a bar and asks “is this stool taken”?


One tectonic plate bumps into another and says “sorry, my fault.”


Two molecules step into an air ionizer.

molecule 1: I think I lost an electron.

molecule 2: are you positive?


Girls just adore that mushroom because he is such a fungi.


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